~*Kandi*~

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~Links~
Myspace
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Calorie Lab
Cerulean Butterfly

~Communities~
Fat ED
Diet Pills
Pro Anorexia
Ana Recipes
Extreme Diets

~Moi~

24/f/Anchorage
Engaged to the most wonderful guy ever
And yet I am stuggling within myself.

Loves

Sex. Smoking. Sleep. My Fiance. Vodka. Angelina Jolie. Prada Anything.
Reading. Philosophy. Criminal Justice. Pilates. Baseball. Mila Jovovich.
Anything Vintage. Aqua Eyeshadow. Cats. Sunglasses. Alaska. Thunderstorms.

Hates

Slobs. Bitches. Judgemental Asses. Sunlight. Housework. Balloons.
Phonies. Basketball. Whiskey. Fish.

Diagnonsense

ED-NOS, Bipolar with Manic tendencies, Ex-SIer, Anemia, PCOS, Endimetriosis,
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Photodermatosis (Allergic to sun), Asthmatic, &tc

This is my journal. Don't bother telling me what I am doing is wrong. What I was doing--compensating my loss by eating--is even more wrong.

I am a college student. I'm a hard worker and a smart person. I have weighed my decisions. I know I have a problem, but I would rather stay with my origional problem and not eat rather than be a fat slob like you.

Anorexia is not a diet. I was Anorexic all through highschool at 80 pounds and, until I went through a massive life change, partly in college. I started gaining back weight and made it to 120 then got pregnant and gained more, then lost the baby. The doctors told me it was from being anorexic for so long so I ate more food than I have ever seen being sure to never get that way. As the story goes, I got pregnant again, lost the baby, and now I realize it's not from being anorexic, God is punshing me for some reason and I found out I may never have children so all this weight I gain thinking it would help me and turning my back on my strive for perfection was in vain. God is punshing me for being fat. So yet I do diet in order to get this disgusting fat off and I wont stop until I am skinnier than before.

Yes, I do extreme diets and refuse to eat over 400 Cals/day. Yes, I use diet pills. No, I'm not anorexic. Yes, I am pro anorexic. Yes, I am ED-NOS.

I've had some trolls in my journal saying "omg ur not anorexic" well no shit! I'm fat. I USED to be anorexic and I still have anorexic tendencies, but until I'm at my desired 80 lbs., no I am not anorexic. Yes, I am Pro-Anorexic, but never have I claimed to be anything other than ED-NOS and returning to my old habits. It's like a security blanket. I want my control back. SO, until you know my full story and back ground... DON'T judge me.

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